I get a chuckle out of some of the claims and phrases used in print and broadcast advertising. Here is a sample of slogans and clichés that I have compiled and what they really mean.

SAVE! No one actually “saves” the money that they don’t spend on discounted products or services. Say you’re going to buy a new car and the ad says, “SAVE $1,000”. Do you put the money that you save in the bank? I don’t think so.

The more you buy the more you save. By those standards one could become a millionaire by spending enough money.

Lifetime guarantee. Whose lifetime? The products? Yours? Or the Companies?

Plus shipping and handling. Many products advertised on TV have a cheap sales price, plus a shipping and handling charge. It’s the handling that gets you. Often it is the actual cost of the product.

Were the largest! In other words size is everything.  One appliance dealer claimed to be the “largest” because he weighed over 300 lbs.

We’re number one.  Every business can be first in something. That doesn’t mean they are good.

Four generations of service. I know a lot of companies that were started by Great Grand Pa and have been passed down to an incompetent grandson. So what?

We’re Overstocked! If you were off on your sales projections and bought too many products, why should I bail you out? Your inability to run your business doesn’t impress me.

Going out of business– Some businesses go into business, just to go ‘out of business’. Have you ever bought an oriental rug from a store that wasn’t going out of business?

No payments until next year – No but the ‘carrying charges’ are built into the price of the product.

Buy one get one free. What ever the cost is of “one”, you can bet you are paying double. So when you buy one, you are paying for two and that is how you get the second one free. Watch the shipping and handling charges on these offers.

But wait there’s more… Just about every TV offer uses this slogan. The cost of all the merchandise is amortized into the total offer. The announce gives you it a piece at a time so you think you are getting a great deal by adding in additional products.

Compiled by Tom Smisek CPC